Collage of family pictures. When life is hard family is always there. Learning to navigate seasons of waiting. Blog post about life.

Learning to Navigate Seasons of Waiting

One thing you will come to notice - my blog will rarely be anything clothing related or all that formal. This is just a small corner of the world where I can share the good, bad,  ugly, and what is on my mind and in my heart and maybe you will be encouraged. Only time will tell now, but we will start this off with a good ole cheesy WELCOME!  I'm Jaysie.  The lady behind Bar J and the face in all the product pictures. If I'm honest with you - I hate pictures of myself. I am not confident in front of a camera and this venture has shoved me out of my comfort zone in all the ways possible.  Over the last few years, I really took a liking to clothes and have always wanted to have my own business. Then on a whim and a conversation with a dear friend of mine I decided to bring this dream of mine to life. Bar J Trading has been in the building phase for quite some time and it wasn't until I moved to Canyon that I had time to make this all a reality. I love putting together outfits that are functional and won't hold you back from whatever your day may bring. Everyone deserves to feel confident and beautiful in what they are wearing. Anywhere from the farm to business wear, we have you covered. I am so excited to see where this journey will lead! I am from Northwest Kansas and grew up on a livestock and farming operation. I currently reside in West Texas and am attending school at WTAMU.  This college journey has been anything but normal. At one point I swore off attending university and was never going to go back. And here we are - back in school. The good Lord has a way of making you shove your foot in your mouth. Rather hard. The last few years have been full of some of the best moments and a whole lot of good old fashioned life lessons. And to be quite frank - my stubbornness doesn't help the situation.

 Over the last two years life has felt like one big season of waiting. During Christmas in 2021, we were having a family pickleball tournament and I dislocated my shoulder. Now if you don't know what pickleball is - its essentially tennis for old people. And come to learn- more people get hurt playing pickleball than you would think. During this time I was living in the hill country of Texas working for a livestock operation. I loved my job. There was nothing better than getting to wake up everyday and do what I loved. And if you haven't been to the hill country of Texas - it is beautiful there. I would highly recommend it. Back to Christmas of 2021 - I knew something was wrong once I dislocated my shoulder. After an extra week at home to get an MRI done, it turned out I had a torn labrum and hil sacs fracture. Once that was determined, back to Texas I went. The pain was unbearable most days, but like any stubborn soul, I kept working like nothing was wrong. We were rolling up on the busy major show season and I knew I couldn't be completely out of commission during those months. I found a doctor and scheduled the first, of  two surgeries, three months after I had injured it. Those were a long few months… And I thought once the surgery happened everything would level out and go back to normal. Boy was I wrong.

 If you have never had the privilege of having any part of your body operated on - you know it is critical to do what the doctors and physical therapists tell you to do. And once again - I learned this the hard way… After six weeks in  a sling with my arm strapped to my side, I was ready to get back to some normalcy. The doc finally gave me the green light to start living normal. And with  the phrase  'you can't hurt it again' sent me out the door.  But I think it was forgotten that I was working on a ranch at the time… And more than ready to get back to work. This is where life really started to get real again. After a month of physical therapy and overdoing it  - I knew something wasn't right. The pain was back to what it was before surgery and things were not looking so good. During the previous months I had found myself in a dark  depression. At this point it was May. I had a real heart to heart with a dear friend and between he and my mama - I was on a plane back home the next morning. My feet had been wiped out from under me. I was mad at the world. I wasn't sure why this was happening. I loved my job but looking back God was moving me another direction and I wasn't listening.

 Fast forward to about August of 2022, I was back home and after another few months of physical therapy my shoulder wasn't any better. I was still mad at the world and at a loss of any explanation for what the purpose of this season was about. I no longer enjoyed anything I once did and it took a toll on mind. In August I found a great doctor in Wichita and after a second surgery in September to clean up the scar tissue and repair a second spot in my labrum, I was back in a sling with my arm strapped to my side once again. In the meantime, I took a job in town to keep me busy and try to get my shit together. I loved the people I worked with but I knew this job wasn't going to last forever.  Frankly sitting at a desk all day just wasn't for me. During the fall of 2022, I tried everything I could think of to try and settle down and figure out what was going to be next. But it was closed door after closed door. I was getting angry at the world. I didn't understand why things were playing out this way and I was so angry all the time. I no longer found joy in doing the things I usually loved to do. But thank the good Lord for parents that were not going to let me sit in my own pity party for very long. Dad put me in the tractor drilling wheat - while I was still had a arm in a sling. Really a brave thing to do. Mom was sure I was outside enough and was always ready to go out to eat lunch on the days I just needed someone there. My siblings were always there - and we took more than one random road trips. Whenever the time together was needed - we just hit the road together. Although I really disliked being in an office, I will forever credit that job and the people around for helping me get healed up during the last year.

 Over New Years of 2023 I decided it was time for a trip. I wasn't real sure where I was going to end up. But I took off South and decided I wanted to visit Canyon, TX. Booked an AirBnB and spent a few days doing some soul searching and just doing what I wanted to do. I decided then I was going to go to school in the fall. Now why in the world would I ever want to do that? I am not so sure. Most days I am still unsure why it seemed like such a good idea. But in the midst of the last few months/year there have been some really great times. There have been some seriously hard times as well. Some days have been better than others. More often than I want to admit I was questioning God on why this season turned into what felt like forever. What exactly was this season of life all about. I still don't have an exact answer for that other than it was a time of reshaping my life and getting back on track. The track I was on before may have been what I loved, but there was a lot of unhealthy situations and habits that were not going to get me where I wanted to go. But in the heat of the battle I didn’t see that. It took me being removed and working through things throughout the year to really see this.

 The one thing that has hit me like a ton of bricks in the last year is seasons of life come and go. The thing about seasons is it feels like you are in it forever and nothing will ever change. Then before you know it - you look up and that time of your life has come and gone. I have recently felt like I have been in a season of waiting for what feels like forever. Anyone who has been in a holding pattern understands that it is hard. It is so hard to see those you love have everything going good and you are in a constant limbo. It is so hard. Nothing makes me happier than those closest to me having good things happen to them. But sometimes when that season of waiting gets long and it gets hard to carry - the devil sneaks in and try's to tear down your mind and those relationships closest to you. It is in the seasons of waiting that it is so critical to dig deep and grow close to the lord. It is so important to fuel your mind with his word and have hope for what is to come. 

 Now  a season of waiting it is not just sitting on the couch and waiting for opportunities to come knocking. This is the time to find a renewed sense of hope. Find the piece of you that has been missing. Take the time to get your life on the right track. And maybe your life is on track and this is the time that your being tested and pressure is being applied to see just how strong your foundation is. You wake up and put your best foot forward everyday. There will be days that are harder than others. There will be days when giving it your all doesn’t equate to the previous day. Those hard days are the days to stay consistent. Even if it takes you longer than normal - do the daily task. Get yourself ready in the morning and tackle the day one step at a time. 

 Gosh- It  is so easy to sit here and write this all out and make it seem so simple and so easy to spill it all out there. Easy peasy really. In all realities it is hard. Life is hard. Those seasons of waiting are frustrating and maddening. It’s hard to see everyone around you winning and you feel stuck and unmoving.  In the midst of it - it feels never ending. But there will come a day when you will look back and realize the value of this season. You will look back and be grateful for what it taught you. You will look back and be proud of how far you have come.

 My challenge to you if your in this season of waiting is to dig deep. Take the extra time and sit with the Lord and dive into his word. Dive head-first into his truth. Don't be afraid to go all in. Take the extra time to take care of yourself and take the time to do something you love or brings you joy. The world will survive without you for those moments. Life is far to short to not do the things we enjoy. Take the time to challenge yourself as well as time for what you love. Life is all one big balancing act. Most of the time I am close to falling on my face. But the good news in all of this is we serve a God that is bigger than any mistake or fumble along the way. And he is always there - even in the seasons of waiting. He wont leave you now or in the days to come.

 So dig deep, love hard and don't forget to take the time to enjoy the challenging seasons. Before you know it - you will look up and the landscape around you will be completely different.

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