Embracing the Journey:  Finding Yourself in Life's Storms

Embracing the Journey: Finding Yourself in Life's Storms

THANK YOU to everyone who reached out, shared, and read the first blog post. I was a nervous wreck before posting it. I realized we have all been in or are in that hard season. You’re not alone. You have a tribe to lean on and who want to help and see you win. And if you don’t, reach out to someone around you. I want y'all to know as I write these – I’m  talking to myself first. I am just beginning to figure these lessons out myself. 

My younger self hated the phrase, “Stop and smell the roses”. 

A.) I don’t think roses smell that good.

B.) Why would I want to stop and smell something? I had things to do. At least I thought I did. We spent a lot of time on the road growing up. Road trips were a large part of our life and I loved it. But I wasn't about stopping and taking the extra time to do anything other than get to where we were going. More often than not we were headed to a livestock show and were running slightly behind. But as time goes  on, I am beginning to slow down ever so slightly. At least now I can get a slight whiff of these so-called roses people want me to stop and smell.

I like to be busy,  going places and always having a plan for everything ahead of time and knowing what's coming up. But it’s dawned on me that I  can't run fast and go a thousand miles an hour forever. Your body and mind will get to a point of exhaustion that will make you fall on your face. I have been there and it’s a hard reality. When I tore my shoulder and was forced to stop and slow down - life took a spiral. I realized how much of my identity was wrapped up in what I did for work and making those around me happy. That isn’t a bad thing until you realize you’ve lost yourself. And everything was wrapped up in what was happening around me.  

When I slowed down it didn’t take very long for the devil to creep in and make things really out of control. He speaks lies that hurt and sting. That makes you feel behind and lost in the craziness of the world. During that time of being injured and falling flat on my face, it was a dark place. I started to believe those lies. There were a lot of nights of crying myself to sleep and at some points just wanting to be done with this. After months of fighting it on my own, I realized just how tired my mind and body had become. I was exhausted from running a thousand miles an hour all the time and I didn't realize it. While I  was constantly 'running' everywhere - blind spots had shown up in my life and they were going unnoticed. The busyness of my current spot was hiding the harsh truth and reality of what was going on. The enemy was working and causing havoc that was unnoticed at the time. The hardest part was having to admit that I had lost myself. I didn't recognize the person that was in the mirror. 

So how am I healing from this experience? It has taken time to find myself again. It is taking time to let God heal and work through me. But even in the messiness and feeling lost, I have found hope. There is hope for what's to come and I’m learning to love myself in the current season. I am not perfect but I am learning to embrace who God made me to be. Things are beginning to get slightly easier. Day by day, I’m putting my best foot forward.  

No matter where you're at in your journey, know that you’re not alone. IF you feel alone, just know we've all been there at some point. It's a journey to find yourself. But there will be a day that you suddenly look up from life's storms and realize just how far you've come. 

 

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